the cryptic way to say i love you

first blog in about 1000 years

2010-05-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

i've got alot of feelings today, and i haven't blogged in a really long time.
i can't sleep. i'm in a really bad mood, when really, there's nothing to be upset about.

i liked this guy for ages, and somehow, like some heavenly bloody blessing, he likes me too, and we are now going out with each other.. and i've seen him every day for about three weeks :)
the problem is though, and i always used to discuss this with dan, when you really like someone, and you finally get them, the mysterious-ness is gone, and you can see all their flaws aswell.
but yeah, whatever.

i'm really annoyed at the human race at this current moment in time. my dear friend ashlyn hasn't been treated very nicely this evening and it really gets on my tits how humans are such selfish, arrogant dickheads.
why is it that is pains some people to let others be happy?
why do people have to stir and gossip?
grr. get high, chill out and laugh for god's sake.

somehow, i've managed to completely fall for my boyfriend in two weeks.
i refuse to believe it, cause i didn't even think it was possible.. but i feel so strongly for him, he's all i can think about, he's the only person i ever wanna see, and i'm always craving him.
he's moving away in the summer..
that's gonna tear me apart, i know it.

right now, i want enter shikari playing live in my bedroom, ash (: , some doughnuts and cuddles and kisses.
oh. and a new flipping phone. my phone's older than me, i swear. you can't even charge it without having to turn it off... look at me rambling on.

i wanna do some covers soon, skinny love and mr brightside i think..
i wish i could play guitar.
maybe i'll learn that, when i have money for lessons -_-

i'd like to know why it is that everytime i have a bath, i feel like i've been stabbed in the stomach..
my doctor tells me not to have bubble baths because i only have one kidney. now that just seems ridonkulous. fair enough, avoiding risks, but what the actual fuck?
... but, if anyone knows what this tummy thing's about, lemme know ;]

right, i think bedtime is what time it is.
i'm gonna stop with the 'goodbye hebrews and shebrews b'
i'll go with a simple: goodnight bloggers, much love xo

raindrops on roses, and girls in white dresses. it's sleeping with roaches, and taking their guesses.

2009-11-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

Hello there :)

this is quite possibly the most boring saturday since the dawn of time.

the highlight has been shaving my legs : ahaaaa

but i'm going to the boyf's tonight:) ..and tomorrow.

he is actually really very nice, but i'm sick of everyone telling me stuff that he's done/doing.

let me learn from myself, i want to be able to learn from my mistakes and get some fricking life experience :L

I had a nice evening yesterday, went to Ella's and planned secret santa.. also, we said all the places we'd like to go, and we all agreed on France, well yeah.. maybe, some day:/

But, Newquay looks nice, and Newquay is near:)

i think we shall all wait til we grow a little..

Hallowe'en was good, i've put on a picture of me and dom, a very important person to me (L)

i really don't have much to say.

i have fallen in love with Panic At The Disco again:)

since the last time i've written on here, i've had all my hair chopped off :

but yes, fu-fu-fu-fu-fuck this, there's nothing to say :L

Goodbye Hebrews & Shebrews b

You my brown eyed girl (L)

2009-10-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i really wish i could just stick to *NO MORE MEN TIL 2O1O*

but it's difficult now, seeing as i have two dates this week :

and tbh, i don't think i like either of them

for a start, one comes with complications, including his psycho ex, who is in my year and is a bitch.. plus her best friend's a bitch too.

so i am currently being called lots of names (L)

god i love life.

me and dom said we'd go find perfect partners.

noone's ever gonna be perfect though..

goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

(L)

2009-09-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

It was a good night, to say the least.

13th September 2OO9

2009-09-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

i swear i will fight until we're the last to stand, until it's you left holding my hand...

jolly days, mostly :
no more men til 2O1O.. tbh i don't have very much faith in myself,
so i doubt anyone else has :L
i'm already bored of being single.
i just want someone to cuddle up to, someone kind and lovely to watch a movie with every now and again.
and the problem is, i have these two lovely boys who really like me.. but i don't seem to like them.

why is it i only ever really, really like a boy if he doesn't like me?!
silly silly silly.

i know it'll all get better soon, maybe next month ;D
seeing as i'm grounded for the whole of this month cause i got caught at home, when i wasn't supposed to be there, in bed with hannah + dom.
i think she was annoyed cause i lied, and i was in bed with dom xD
aah well ;p it was worth it.

i can't be bothered to write down everything that's getting me down :L

Goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

shit.

2009-08-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

if you're not close enough to someone, they won't wanna get with you cause they don't know you well enough.
if you're too close to someone, they won't wanna get with you cause they know you too well.
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MIDDLE

i made a postsecret.

2009-07-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

This is really depressing.
I feel I should explain.
I'd been thinking about this boy that I liked for about a year..
and just wondering what would have happened if I would have kissed him when I had the chance.
I'm glad I didn't, but I just wonder what if...
you know.

Well anyways, the night I nearly kissed him was at a superheroes party.
I had liked him for eight months at this point and it was the night before my birthday; 20-02-94.
He was dressed as Batman; I was dressed as Batgirl. Ironic eeh?

today.

2009-07-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

it rained all day today.
i freaking love rain.
shame noone else does :/

my week so far;
monday.. watched charlie skate (:
alot funner than it sounds cause he is wicked (Y)
tuesday.. pricey's and town (:
it was a really dreary day but it was nice company..
apart from walking home, where it was scary and i cut my finger on a leaf.. WHICH REALLY HURTS!
wednesday.. stayed in, did some more to my picture of everyone (L) sorted out my music.. dull. lovely lazy day, talked to charlie and pricey.. then hannah popped in and we got perfec' pizza and cookie dough ice creeaaam (:
now she's fallen asleep in my ever so comfy double bed ;p

the rest of the week;
thursday.. MADDIE. missed her more than anything tbh.. lots of gossip to catch up on and whatnot. that'll be larverly!
friday.. PARTAYPARTAYPARTAY. cannay' wait.. it's gonna be a goodunn i think, and hope (L)

this summer holidays has been really really good (Y)
can only get better aswell, what with dublin and new york.

goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

gap in the fence (:

2009-07-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

I lie here

Staring up at the stratosphere

And hoping we're

Gonna get out of here

It seems mad

That we're all born on the doorstep

Of squalor and of pedestals

And I lie here

Surrounded by a range of general anesthetics

To drowse the fact

That funding in 'security'

Is not matched by spreading equality

You'll hear us singing...

In the sunlight where you caught us

Plotting the downfall of hoarders

Every gap in the fence

We'll peek, we'll scratch, we'll stretch, we'll grab anything we can.

But if we grouped together

And made a bigger hole

Not just for our childrens hands

But for bigger plans

Cos I don't know about you

But I've gotta get out of here

We live so subserviently

Accepting all normality

Drenched with routine

Doused in the foreseen

And yes, granted we do prosper.

But the fact that we prosper

Is even taken for granted.

the prettiest enter shikari song; in world

i was reading ashlyn's blog and she said something really pretty..

Dan writes his poetry.

Jack writes his heart.

Michelle writes her feelings.

Becky writes her mind.

it's very true. i'm good at writing utter nonsense.. cause that's what my mind/life is.

to be honest i wouldn't want it any other way.

Sunday today.

Sundays are useless.

my best friend is having a blazing row with her boyfriend and i can't seem to say the right things..

it will really be a shame if they break up.

but life goes on.

cba to go out.

i've turned into the laziest teenager ever.

it's all these late nights, but then again i've always preferred nights.

all the good things happen at night,

you can get drunk and dance and sing down the street (L)

that's never as good in the day.

you can snuggle up in bed and kiss someone gorgeous.

that's never as good in the day.

you can watch the stars.

that's never as good in the day.. ;)

well here goes another week of summer holidays..

dunno what i shall do, said i'd see climo tomorrow,

sophie tuesday,

probably amy dom and pricey at some point..

MADDIE WHEN SHE GETS BACK.

although she text saying she's really ill which worries the shit out of me :( :(

party on friday.

dublin on sunday..

i hope nothing changes whilst i'm away.

probably will though :/

goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

2009-07-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

dang' it's been a while since i wrote on here..

much has changed.
things are sooooo much better :)

i was with a boy.
he was a knob, cheated on me..
broke up with me.
he's gone ;)

now i know a guy who three weeks ago i thought just looked nice :)
and now i see him quite alot and it's going good..
slowly, but good.

i haven't seen very much of some of my good friends,
i guess this kinda sucks, but i think i'm moving on :)
i've spent more time with a different crowd lately,
who really look after me and don't put me down.
for now, i am happy.

i have a party on friday, that should be good (Y)
this time in two weeks i will be in new york.
this time in one week i will be getting ready to go to dublin to see my daddy :)

i'm so happy :D:D:D:D

goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

i'm a messssssssssssssss

2009-06-11T01:47:00.000-07:00

lalalaaaa do not know what to say :/:/

talked to someone last night who is like my own psychologist tbh..

we discussed taking down *a shield* :L

tbh i don't really understand..

you know when you think so hard about yourself that you get really confused and you feel like you're gonna explode? well that happened and i'm sat in this strange daze with not alot to say or do. something about my childhood... lol i don't really understand. ummmmmm? i'm afraid to cry in front of people so i was told just to let go so that's what i'll do.

i'll voice my opinion, and not just the ones people should hear.. i'll say things i should never say!

who knows..

goodbye hebrews and shebrews b

2009-06-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

i'm single again :(
i'm sat in a practice room in music bored out of my face...
all goooood :)

hey but i like being single!
there are PLENTY more fish in the sea tbh..

i'll be happy one day.

my mum's winding me up also. :/

i'm happy no matter what. i'm lucky tbh, i'm not homeless.. i have a family and AMAZING friends.
always look on the bright side of life. that is the motto i live by..
goodbye hebrews & shebrews. b

2009-05-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

Whoah happy day $Y

ERJT <THIS IS MY LITTLE LAND ;)

I'M GOING IN TOWN WITH ROSEMARIE SOON TO GET MY MOTHER'S PRESENT AND PICK UP MADDIE'S PRESENT AND LOOK AT PRETTY DRESSES. GOOD TIMES.

NEARLY THE END OF THE HALF TERM. WELL THAT SUCKS. IT'S BEEN ACE THOUGH, GOT TO SEE THE NEPHEW AND DO FUN STUFFS. :)

GOODBYE HEBREWS & SHEBREWS. b

sunburn.

2009-05-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

i went camping on the moors :)
i hit my head so hard on a rock that it jolted down my spine, i couldn't see properly and i went into shock.
i am so badly sunburnt that i screamed in the bath and i can't wear tops the right way..
i had such an ace time (:
we made a big fire and drank lots and climbed big rocks :L
and we watched the sunset and the magnificent stars and the sunrise.. good times tbh

i'm going to london tomorrow to see my brother, his wife and their baby dylan :)
it'll be goooooooooooood me thinks..

happy happy happy
goodbye hebrews & shebrews b

i think i might hang myself tbh. :/

2009-05-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

holly text me saying *these things come in threes, my friend just hung herself, who's next?*
my auntie hung herself last week.
you can imagine how depressed i've become..
i text back saying *me if this day gets any worse*
alot of things to make me angry
i haven't seen jack in a week.
my face is a mess.
my whole image is a mess.
i got really depressed yesterday by a pretty song and a few people.
i had nothing to do today.
i have a maths test on monday.
i feel fat and ugly.
i want to move far far away.
i wish i could play guitar.
i wish my dad was closer and i saw him more than one week every year.
i wish my brother was closer.
i wish i was an amazing singer.
i wish i was an amazing ballet dancer.
i hate plymouth.

on a much brighter note, eurovision song contest is bloody hilarious.. and i'm seeing jack tomorrow :) goodbye hebrews & shebrews b

& another thing..

2009-05-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

why has every girl in my year now decided to start a blog? gohh i swear they're like sheep. i do hate it when people copy..b

even the heartbreak, even the way we made mistakes..

2009-05-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

s a t u r d a y. 15:24, still in bed. nothing to get up for.. can't be bothered with anything. crap day. yesterday someone very very important to me played me a song that he thought was pretty by our favourite band. it was called lua by bright eyes. i remember last year,when we liked each other alot, he sent me a song called first day of my life by bright eyes and i sent him a song called technicolor eyes by backseat goodbye on the same day. He reminded me of this yesterday and it really depressed me... it made me realise how as soon as he moved on and found a girlfriend (who is just too nice tbh) i was kinda forced to do the same. :/ so now here i am, three weeks with a boy named jack, he has no idea i think all this.. cause i barely see him tbh. and i'm seeing this other boy every day and i know it's best not to but i can't stay away.
i have a songbook which is currently in my schoolbag. every single song is about that boy that is very very important to me.. i get by by hoping that one day he'll realise. knowing my luck, probably not.... goodbye hebrews & shebrews xxx

2009-05-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

i got ten minutes sleep last night. i'm crabby right now. i decided to do the usual at parties and watch the sunrise with tom, it's our thing and it always will be (: the sunrise was crap as always, but it was fun cause we talked about santa and dracula fighting and we snorted strange things from the kitchen. XD how mature. i can't really be bothered to say alot. life's good.. i'll attach some form of picture. i'll put one of me cause i'm vein like that. lol. goodbye hebrews & shebrews xx

(:

2009-05-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

i went for a lovely walk today, saltram with some nice people (: now i'm listening to jack's mannequin talking to some other nice people. i don't really know what to say. i'm not really in an emotional mood, i'm pretty happy tbh but not alot else. have you ever been alone in a crowded room? well i'm, here with you.. changed the song now, still jack's mannequin but now it's the mixed tape instead of dark blue. i tell you who i love, i love muse. i want their lyrics tattoed somewhere on my body and i am pretty much obsessed. if someone could buy me a ticket to see them live i will actually consider marrying them. and i'm all against marriage so that's a pretty big thing (; nothing else to say........... goodbye hebrews & shebrews. b

2009-05-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

the most stupid thing i've done today is deciding to eat these 7 pence jelly crystals from sainburys. yuk. they have the same texture as flesh. i feel like a vampire. i wish skin did taste like strawberry though.. :) spent the weekend with the boyfriend, met his friends, watched some movies, got my haircut, and now i'm eating these ghastly cheapy crappy jelly crystals. i woke up at like eight this morning to jack jumping out of bed to use the toilet. attractive. we then watched match of the day and he was impressed cause i didn't complain once. ;) now i'm listening to kids in glass houses, give me what i want... took a random walk to sainsburys today, took some pretty photos, bought some crappy food. tomorrow i shall go for a picnic i think :) ... much love xx

friday's blog.

2009-05-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

considering i got a lovely boyfriend at the end of last week, this week's been shit. maybe it's cause i only saw him sunday and tonight... hmmm.. i've perked up a bit cause it's the weekend+ the bank holiday monday :) i've just eaten a tub of ben & jerrys aswell. brilliant for the healthy eating. i made my favourite http://www.polymore.com/ picture yet, as you can see. got the news on, waiting for jonathon ross. i'm doing this wierd thing i always do that kinda makes me me. I HAVE THE TELLY ON MUTE AND SUBTITLES WHILST MUSIC IS PLAYING ON YOUTUBE :) it's one of my odd things like showering in the dark. i haven't alot to say today. i'm happy ... i found a nice website called www.cardboardlove.com , cute and simple... bit like me really XD all the love in the world xxxxx

i am obsessed. like totally.

2009-05-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

My favourite...

i am obsessed.

2009-05-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

another http://www.polyvore.com/ thing...

crazy ol' me

2009-04-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

on my way home from ballet i saw someone from a drama thing i used to do. i was having a real big think about everything then i saw her and she is most possibly the wierdest most annoying person i have ever met. and it bought back memories of me and the boy that i liked trying to hold in our giggles as she talked about seeing ghosts and her half an hour toilet breaks. i suddenly realised that i didn't have to told in my giggles and i stood across the road, all alone and laughed my socks off. i looked crazy, and there were tears in my eyes but thankfully she didn't see me. then i decided to skip the rest of the way home. i am so glad i didn't see anyone cause i did look like i had issues... i think i've perked up a bit from earlier though so it's all good... xx

don't thursdays just suck?

2009-04-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

funny old day it's been.
it's not even over yet, there's still the dreaded-stetchyourlegsaboveyourhead-ballet class to go.
and the spawn of the devil is downstairs. my mother's mother. the kind of woman who talks at you and doesn't actually care what you say, as long as it doesn't ruin the family's beloved reputation. grrrr..
bad moods eeh?
what's up with them?
everything seemed so nice when i woke up yesterday and this evening i'd quite like to run away and leave everything here.
this one boy who was the most important thing to me for like ten months has spent the last week ripping me cause of something i apperently did and it's driving me mad. i actually want to hit him, and i probably will by tomorrow.. now he's attempting to say sorry. grrrrrrrrr!
i'm so tired aswell, i went for a sleep when i got home... and watched flashdance ;)
it's the kind of tiredness that makes you wanna cry... how depressing.
had a singing lesson today :) always makes me happy... sang some phantom of the opera and cabaret. i wish i could do that all day long every day. the world would be a much happier place if we only had to do the things we love. i'd dance and sing and act and write pretty songs and eat mexican food and live in the countryside with occasional trips to paris and new york, and i'd make pretty dresses.
back to the boy ripping me situation: he just told me i'm no fun. do you think it would be a bit severe to tell him to go play in the road? hmmm..
ooh and he's just said *well enjoy ballet tonight. i hope a hippo sits on you*
i hate people like him. although i do like him... odd.
i give up. the temptation to pack a bag right now and leave is overwhelming.
nobody ever expects you to run away do they? i should really.
i don't think many people would care. i know that i wouldn't, but i should.

....

2009-04-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

why do we all get so bogged down in feelings? be happy.

second attempt at polyvore.com

2009-04-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

my god this website is addictive. this one's better i think... i'm sure michelle will tell me ;]

psychic much? probably not...

2009-04-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

right so here's my feeble attempt to get things off of my chest. i feel guilty. like really guilty. and it's stupid cause as far as i'm aware nobody got killed. jeez that's a bit ott ;] but it's hard to explain.. i feel like i'm wrecking people's emotions for my own happiness. for once i'm worrying about my own happiness, and it seems that it's affecting everyone! i sit in lessons and get glared at. i've always been the girl who got on with everyone, but now here i am with this boy who came into my life like a hurricane, but at the same time...he's seemed to have fixed everything. for me. now i've got all these sad people cause i can't keep control of what i'm doing and i get so confused... and i can't put into words what i'm trying to say here. i should be revising for gcse's. music to be precise. one fo the things i care about the most and i just cannot be bothered. i wish i had some company right now, like i wish my brother was still here to talk to... now that is really freaky because he just logged on msn. whoah i think i'm psychic... probably not. i'm gonna go back and stare at this music test now. i'll probably write again in like five minutes cause i'll get bored and think of something... byebye. p.s, i'm kinda this hoping bird flu kills us all. that'll teach us a lesson. xx

2009-04-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

www.comparethemeerkat.com ... you can actually compare meerkats!

2009-04-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

so i did the polyvore blog thing. it's rubbish but it's mine ;]

randomrandomwebsite.

2009-04-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

Michelle told me to check this out :
http://www.polyvore.com/

we're slowly becoming blog obsessed..b

my obscene love situation

2009-04-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

it's hard to get your head aroung the current love triangle (hexagon) there are about 12 people involved... but michelle will understand what i'm getting at cause we're both involved. still, it's a typical teenage thing so......

firstblog..

2009-04-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

hola.. yeah, i'm not actually spanish but it makes me look a little bit more interesting. i'm sat on my best friend's bed listening to jason mraz and watching her drown in her own fake tan. fun fun ;) it's a nice day today. the weather's shit. but i do love the rain, so yeah :) i woke up in a reaaaally good mood. might have something to do with the fact that i blagged myself a very gorgeous boyfriend last night :D i'm chuffed... also it was a good morning cause the simple life was on and i love my cheesey american crap tbh. and i ate sour cream and chive pringles and apple and rasperry J2O for breakfast, then jumped in the mum's boyfriend's car and drove to hannah's (the one with the fake tan). it's the first time we've seen each other in a while, so it's good to catch up and do the normal thing. man i'm crap at writing these things.. i end up rambling on for england. interesting fact......... ummmmmmmmmm, my belly button's really high. the friends call it a chest button. that's not interesting in the slightest. but it's one of the things that pop into my head when i thing of an interesting thing. i was born in new york. that IS an interesting fact.. i have one kidney. that's a bit odd though. i don't know what to say now. goodbye? goodbye it is then... goodbye. ;)